Happy New Year 2011
Roger Blackwell
12/31/11 (2 days ago)
to Jenni, Mark, Timothy
Over the past two years I've had the pleasure of being able to slow down and get off the treadmill that I was expected to jump on in 1998. It's allowed me to gain wisdom through some good books. The one I'm currently reading stands out, Too Soon Old, Too Soon Smart. The author a psychiatrist, Gordon Livingston, MD examines many of the issues which have challenged me over the years of growing up in a family which spoke of love but only in church and dismissed the needs of men. This was to be repeated in my own house and despite my efforts to introduce changes my mother in law interfered in my marriage. The book has given me the wisdom to understand what has been missing in both these environments which left me with a very strong feeling that things could be better. in both homes, hope was removed from our lives by the institutions that were allowed to take over our lives, firstly the church and in my house, the hospital which even used the church as a patron.
Livingston makes the claim that it is the role of parents to give their children hope in an uncertain world. What could be more accurate? They will learn everything else either via the state or by using parents as a model so what is the most important gift we can give them. It is hope. I knew it was lacking when I was younger and I saw it evaporate in the years btn 2006 to 2009. When hope is taken away through the failure to communicate as a married adult and then the a mother enters the relationship to end the chaos her daughter created - the child loses the greatest gift an adult can give.
Neither of you have ever understood this concept. Your lives have been owned by the institutions you seek safety and security in and you put them before FAMILY. You consider that meeting the bills is the most important thing a parent can do. In Pat's case it's still about bailing you out whenever you need it. The best way to allow a person to avoid the responsibility my parents expected me to meet (and hammered it into me for years).
I was lectured by both of you for a longtime without change. I took it on board and attempted to process it. After having positive relationships with many people over my life and specifically the last two years I can now recognise that it was your insecurities that attempted to control me and others - which is why you enjoy the perceived shelter of your institutions. Both these institutions are guilty of behaving incompetently. The church continues to protect peodophiles and the health industry plays the govt and public for money while it's own auditing can't pick up theft and waste on a grand scale (Vic or Qld). In light of these facts I have always believed the potential of a happy family to be the core of our society and the future of happy children. Both of you threw this away and that is why you are now single with closed minds and friends only in those institutions.
This is what has been delivered to me by my Father, "You speak nonsense, Roger". This is what was delivered to me by my wife, "I don't care". What madness generated by people who can't process concepts. In addition I had to deal with lawyers who ignored what a very smart and sensible and honest child told them. This was for the benefit of the legal system (another inept institution) that protects itself first and clients next - and maybe children if they are lucky.
Unlike me, my daughter had a Father who was interested in her future and didn't just give lip service. Her development, her knowledge, her knowledge, her exposure to the world. You took that from her like a spoilt and vindicative child.
I hope my daughter has a Happy New Year. Her message to me is "I would be happier with you here". But her mother and grandmother put their own needs first like my father always has.
She and I are honest about these issues. You both play a game of "it must be my way" or else I will destroy it. In reflection I have gained much more than I lost despite the incredible money that was wasted to create damage. It was worth it. Despite this I will be using the same court system that you abuse to correct the injustice and loss. I hope Pat has some more money to spend. The lawyers love this situation. They put their kids through private school and buy houses at Portsea with it. This is what you bought into.
Sunday, 1 January 2012
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Friday, 25 November 2011
Jenni,
Despite your intervention order being an abuse of an instrument to protect women who are truly under threat you have used it to silence a loving Father of a beautiful girl who loves me and vice versa. You have also convinced family and frinds that this was occuring. This is not fair or in anyway reasonable in a modern society. In respect to the issue of violence which you hidden behind and the court has found as a hook to create bias you were just as "physical" with me including hair pulling, throwing of objects, name calling, scratching and gouging etc but that's all in the past and Cat still has needs. All this Catia can confirm and I wasn't prepared to be an abused man.
Under the intepretation of violence by The Family Court every politician in our Parliament could be labelled as violent men or women. This does not reflect how human beings live in a country with free speech and equality in the home and workplace.
While using the protection of an intervention order you have sent me abusive text messages, called my ex girlfriends making disparaging comments and permitted my daughter to call me on Father's Day. She has asked me not to give up. To keep fighting for her rights. She thinks you are thinking only of yourself. When I tell her I've had enough of your silence and the bias she feels the need to solve it herself. She tells me, "don't worry I'll sort it out". This is the implication of your refusal to communicate for periods of time. It's just childish in the extreme and quite frankly I've had a lifetime of being on the end of females who choose to act in a feral manner.
If you watched Sunrise this morning you would have seen that no reasonable thinking person believes that these issues (child custody) should be before the courts - only the most extreme. and the only reason we were before the courts was because Pat interferred in our life and marriage to protect her investment and you wouldn't communicate.
I know you want too keep punishing me using her and creating danger which never existed you will only hurt her.
You can keep being critical of me for the rest of your life - whatever. My parents are the same. I now recognise it is a manifestation of the feminist movement and 1960's attitudes toward men which your mother held and have been adopted by you and still exist in the health and education systems but have long disappeared from other professional circles. That is why we are so far apart and why you will hold negative attitudes toward men like me and be forever critical.
My daughter doesn't hold the same attitudes and is won't be willing to take those on as you have. In fact I doubt she ever will so the longer you prevent her from seeing me and try and punish and demonise me the more it will affect you and certainly her but not necessarily me. I am in the position of living the life I want in an industry that is in boom times but I continue to make the effort to change your stubborn mind for her sake. Your weapons are stubbornness and verbal attack. Helen was the same. I walked away from her but I care for Cat's RIGHT to have positive experiences as she grows up. I am sad that you have never had a reference to growing up in the North of Australia because you would understand what i mean in terms of the relaxed attitudes and the enjoyment of life and the immediate environment.
You know my daughter and I had a great relationship. You know I am a good man and a lover of life and people. You have told me so in the past. It's only your desire to make a change in your life that created a change in attitude. My daughter believes and has told me I am a great Father. Do you want to deny her the ability to exercise her choice and desire to see her Father?
How long do you think you can exercise control over her? If you butt up against her she will make it as hard as she wants. You only have one daughter so surely you want to maintain a good relationship with her over your life.
You should understand how fortunate you are. There are many women in the situation in which their ex partners have NO interest in their kids. That is a reality across Australia. Even men who have sons don't want to stay in touch with them at anytime of the year even Christmas. I know what that feels like. It is degrading and creates a sense of being useless and undervalued.
It's past time you started communicating about such an important issue as Cat's needs. If you don't the longer this goes on the more you will create a gap between you and her. She will resent you for it and trust me resentment has a long memory.
In response to your suggestions I move on with my life I don't even need to comment. The proof is there in front of you despite your efforts to be destructive in the extreme. Oh and your prediction that I would find a "yes" woman could not be further from the truth. Sorry.
I hope you can start to consider Catia's needs now she is a teenager and is still lucky enough to have two parents.
Despite your intervention order being an abuse of an instrument to protect women who are truly under threat you have used it to silence a loving Father of a beautiful girl who loves me and vice versa. You have also convinced family and frinds that this was occuring. This is not fair or in anyway reasonable in a modern society. In respect to the issue of violence which you hidden behind and the court has found as a hook to create bias you were just as "physical" with me including hair pulling, throwing of objects, name calling, scratching and gouging etc but that's all in the past and Cat still has needs. All this Catia can confirm and I wasn't prepared to be an abused man.
Under the intepretation of violence by The Family Court every politician in our Parliament could be labelled as violent men or women. This does not reflect how human beings live in a country with free speech and equality in the home and workplace.
While using the protection of an intervention order you have sent me abusive text messages, called my ex girlfriends making disparaging comments and permitted my daughter to call me on Father's Day. She has asked me not to give up. To keep fighting for her rights. She thinks you are thinking only of yourself. When I tell her I've had enough of your silence and the bias she feels the need to solve it herself. She tells me, "don't worry I'll sort it out". This is the implication of your refusal to communicate for periods of time. It's just childish in the extreme and quite frankly I've had a lifetime of being on the end of females who choose to act in a feral manner.
If you watched Sunrise this morning you would have seen that no reasonable thinking person believes that these issues (child custody) should be before the courts - only the most extreme. and the only reason we were before the courts was because Pat interferred in our life and marriage to protect her investment and you wouldn't communicate.
I know you want too keep punishing me using her and creating danger which never existed you will only hurt her.
You can keep being critical of me for the rest of your life - whatever. My parents are the same. I now recognise it is a manifestation of the feminist movement and 1960's attitudes toward men which your mother held and have been adopted by you and still exist in the health and education systems but have long disappeared from other professional circles. That is why we are so far apart and why you will hold negative attitudes toward men like me and be forever critical.
My daughter doesn't hold the same attitudes and is won't be willing to take those on as you have. In fact I doubt she ever will so the longer you prevent her from seeing me and try and punish and demonise me the more it will affect you and certainly her but not necessarily me. I am in the position of living the life I want in an industry that is in boom times but I continue to make the effort to change your stubborn mind for her sake. Your weapons are stubbornness and verbal attack. Helen was the same. I walked away from her but I care for Cat's RIGHT to have positive experiences as she grows up. I am sad that you have never had a reference to growing up in the North of Australia because you would understand what i mean in terms of the relaxed attitudes and the enjoyment of life and the immediate environment.
You know my daughter and I had a great relationship. You know I am a good man and a lover of life and people. You have told me so in the past. It's only your desire to make a change in your life that created a change in attitude. My daughter believes and has told me I am a great Father. Do you want to deny her the ability to exercise her choice and desire to see her Father?
How long do you think you can exercise control over her? If you butt up against her she will make it as hard as she wants. You only have one daughter so surely you want to maintain a good relationship with her over your life.
You should understand how fortunate you are. There are many women in the situation in which their ex partners have NO interest in their kids. That is a reality across Australia. Even men who have sons don't want to stay in touch with them at anytime of the year even Christmas. I know what that feels like. It is degrading and creates a sense of being useless and undervalued.
It's past time you started communicating about such an important issue as Cat's needs. If you don't the longer this goes on the more you will create a gap between you and her. She will resent you for it and trust me resentment has a long memory.
In response to your suggestions I move on with my life I don't even need to comment. The proof is there in front of you despite your efforts to be destructive in the extreme. Oh and your prediction that I would find a "yes" woman could not be further from the truth. Sorry.
I hope you can start to consider Catia's needs now she is a teenager and is still lucky enough to have two parents.
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