Happy New Year 2011
Roger Blackwell

12/31/11 (2 days ago)

to Jenni, Mark, Timothy
Over the past two years I've had the pleasure of being able to slow down and get off the treadmill that I was expected to jump on in 1998. It's allowed me to gain wisdom through some good books. The one I'm currently reading stands out, Too Soon Old, Too Soon Smart. The author a psychiatrist, Gordon Livingston, MD examines many of the issues which have challenged me over the years of growing up in a family which spoke of love but only in church and dismissed the needs of men. This was to be repeated in my own house and despite my efforts to introduce changes my mother in law interfered in my marriage. The book has given me the wisdom to understand what has been missing in both these environments which left me with a very strong feeling that things could be better. in both homes, hope was removed from our lives by the institutions that were allowed to take over our lives, firstly the church and in my house, the hospital which even used the church as a patron.

Livingston makes the claim that it is the role of parents to give their children hope in an uncertain world. What could be more accurate? They will learn everything else either via the state or by using parents as a model so what is the most important gift we can give them. It is hope. I knew it was lacking when I was younger and I saw it evaporate in the years btn 2006 to 2009. When hope is taken away through the failure to communicate as a married adult and then the a mother enters the relationship to end the chaos her daughter created - the child loses the greatest gift an adult can give.

Neither of you have ever understood this concept. Your lives have been owned by the institutions you seek safety and security in and you put them before FAMILY. You consider that meeting the bills is the most important thing a parent can do. In Pat's case it's still about bailing you out whenever you need it. The best way to allow a person to avoid the responsibility my parents expected me to meet (and hammered it into me for years).

I was lectured by both of you for a longtime without change. I took it on board and attempted to process it. After having positive relationships with many people over my life and specifically the last two years I can now recognise that it was your insecurities that attempted to control me and others - which is why you enjoy the perceived shelter of your institutions. Both these institutions are guilty of behaving incompetently. The church continues to protect peodophiles and the health industry plays the govt and public for money while it's own auditing can't pick up theft and waste on a grand scale (Vic or Qld). In light of these facts I have always believed the potential of a happy family to be the core of our society and the future of happy children. Both of you threw this away and that is why you are now single with closed minds and friends only in those institutions.

This is what has been delivered to me by my Father, "You speak nonsense, Roger". This is what was delivered to me by my wife, "I don't care". What madness generated by people who can't process concepts. In addition I had to deal with lawyers who ignored what a very smart and sensible and honest child told them. This was for the benefit of the legal system (another inept institution) that protects itself first and clients next - and maybe children if they are lucky.

Unlike me, my daughter had a Father who was interested in her future and didn't just give lip service. Her development, her knowledge, her knowledge, her exposure to the world. You took that from her like a spoilt and vindicative child.

I hope my daughter has a Happy New Year. Her message to me is "I would be happier with you here". But her mother and grandmother put their own needs first like my father always has.

She and I are honest about these issues. You both play a game of "it must be my way" or else I will destroy it. In reflection I have gained much more than I lost despite the incredible money that was wasted to create damage. It was worth it. Despite this I will be using the same court system that you abuse to correct the injustice and loss. I hope Pat has some more money to spend. The lawyers love this situation. They put their kids through private school and buy houses at Portsea with it. This is what you bought into.