Emotional Blackmail

Hi darl. I saw Anna yesterday and she told me Jenni had fb'd her and told her she would never let you see me because I'm into emotional blackmail. Bizarre. You can Google it to get the exact meaning but basically it means that someone might say to you "if you don't make cookies for Coffee Select I won't love you" or another example I'm sure you could think of. I know I've never done this too you and have always loved you unconditionally. I can only think that this is just another continuation of the crazy behaviour we saw in the house over the past few years that no one wants to address - including Pat. It is easy for a women/mother to demonise a man/father in our society so I guess this is a hook she has developed in her head and wants to preach to other people - like the letters to Alison.

Jenni and I have had very different upbringings in which she has always lived at home under the protection of her parents while I left home at 18. Moving away from your parents as an adult allows you to experience reality and think about how to survive, get ahead, take chances and PROTECT what you have gained. Whether you choose to do that will be your decision at the time and I'm sure Jenni will want you to stay with her until you're thirty. In respect to the issue of emotional blackmail which I'm accused of that also is a decision you can make on reflection. If you think I'm guilty of it I know you will quickly recognise whether I am, tell me so and explain that either you don't want to see it or don't want to see me. Simple. The only actions I can think of that might fall into this category is when I have retreated from a crazy or heated situation in order to defuse it.

 As I am the only parent who seems to be able to self reflect and make a judgement I often choose to retreat and let her win the battle. After my experience with the law and it's bias I know see it as a bloody good idea and one that most people would suggest. As Jenni fails to understand the concept of loss and has only ever been protected she rarely gives in and seeks resolution. she just keeps pushing until she gets her own way or someone comes in to assist her.

This is an issue you're going to have to live with in the next few years so I will understand it if it creates an issue for you. At any rate, regarding our contact there is only time that will sort out the mess created by the court and stubborn approach. In time you can decide whether you want to see me and when and how long. Until then I will stop trying to seek contact, fairness or correction by the system because their actions in the courts to separate us have definately been emotional blackmail and your mother and grandmother didn't need to take that action. But it was too easy for them to buy their way out of the issues we had instead of discuss them.

with this decision I'm sure I'll be accused of emotional blackmail. lol. That's what it's like trying to please some women. You just can never win.